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Testimonials

Rex Tillerson

CEO of Exxon Mobil

Secretary of State

Rick Perry

Former Texas Governor

Secretary of Energy

Donald J.  Trump

President of the United States of America

When you first fail, try try again. Despite his many failed businesses, Donald is a trusted ally, with his most recent victory for us being the repeal of Obama's Clean Energy Bill, which was causing problems for us. 

Rex is a top leader in our industry, being the CEO of Exxon Mobil and recently being appointed to Secretary of State, for which he has had no experience in foreign policy, but it will help us get more money.

Now heading one of the most important jobs for us, Rick Perry is now Secretary of Energy, for which he said would dissolve, when he ran for President in 2011. Now he can fund us more money, which is once again the most important thing.

It has been almost a year since the Obama Administration signed the Paris Agreement, a worldwide vow to decrease carbon emissions and support renewable energy more. Thanks to us we were already on pace to miss the mark, but with the removal of the Clean Energy Bill, we are now more off track to miss it than ever before. This will help us make up for the Europeans who are trying to make the Earth colder for you. We plan on making a big statement to the other countries by ignoring this Agreement, showing that those with the real money have the real power, and that nobody can tell us what to do.

Paris Agreement

For some strange reason we could not find a picture of our fearless leader at a coal plant. So here is a picture of him wearing a hard hat, which is just as good!

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